My friend, Lois, reminded me this week that worrying about a particular thing can actually block that thing from happening.
I know this. I believe it to my core. I tell my clients and other friends this all the time. Heck, worrying can even make you gain weight by toying with your cortisol. But somehow, I forgot for a moment to apply this to my own situation.
Lois didn’t say “don’t worry,” because she understands the emotional landscape of a writer and she understood where I was in the process. She empathized. Ever so gently, though, she reminded me about the worry box and asked me if I had one.
As soon as the words “worry box” sunk in, I jumped up and wrote out my worries on paper. I unscrewed a jar and poured honey on them. (Some Feng Shui lady once told me to do that and put it on this particular corner in our kitchen.) Just the act of doing that released my worries to the Universe and I felt so much better.
Some phrase it, “Let Go and Let God” or we hear the abbreviated, more secular “let it go.” We know this in our heads, but actually sinking it into our souls is another step. The writing it down on paper part, then either putting it into a box, a jar with honey, giving it to your worry dolls, or throwing it in a fire where it returns to ash was a key step for me. Try it if you don’t believe me.
Chronic worrying affects your daily life in a way that makes you less than joyful. It can interfere with appetite (either causing you to overeat or undereat), relationships, sleep, work, goals, and overall happiness. Many people who worry excessively are so anxiety-ridden that they use harmful lifestyle habits such as overeating, cigarette smoking, drugs and alcohol, or high risk behavior to cope. At some point, worry actually becomes an Anxiety diagnosis with full blown symptoms of panic attacks and other not so pleasant symptoms which can make the person experiencing them feel like he is going to die. Not pleasant.
Not to minimize this condition in any way, which may require counseling and/or meds, or suggest that any one technique can solve all problems. But for me, I’m bringing back the worry box in the shape of the honey jar. I’m going to remember that if something keeps poking at my gut, it may mean I’m not the one that needs to solve the problem, but I’m instead meant to let it go for sweeter things. That way, the Universe can do its magic without me all up in its grill.
Pouring honey on your worries is one I haven’t heard. When I feel the need for a tactile worry release, I write it out and then set the paper on fire. I might try your more sweet method.
Wow, Jamie–thank you for making me sound so much wiser and together than I actually am!!! You’re a true friend!!! Lois xxx
You ARE wise and together. I’m so grateful for your insight, encouragement, and friendship. xoxoJamie
So well written Jamie. Again I adore your blend of wisdom and humor.. and that the Universe can do its thing without us getting all ‘up in its grill’! Love it. I recall an expression I heard years ago that a stressed woman needed to give up her title of General Manager of the Universe. God knows what S(he) is doing so we really can let go of worry. I recently enjoyed a helicopter flight over the Rockies (AMAZING!) from a gift I’d had for over two years because I had to change my mind, my perspective, away from a false fear of flying. I made up my mind that I actually love flying, and you know what? I did! Thirty minutes, in the front seat no less, and I cherished every second of it! I can’t wait to go again! So yes, no worries Mate! Big grateful hugs, Gina
Oh, so cool, Gina on your ride. Even cooler that you didn’t throw up all over your pu-pus bag like I did when we went on a helicopter ride in Hawaii. (The worst part was I nagged my husband relentlessly to go on the lonnnnnggggg ride.) Yep, puked the whole time. All on video for everybody to enjoy. Thanks for your compliments and for being able to enjoy the skies over the Rockies! Hugs! Jamie