“The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, not the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship.” 

Ralph Waldo Emerson

This is my bff, Netters. She turned 50 in early January which means we have now officially been friends longer than we haven’t. (I’m only two months behind, joining her at our half-way point in March.) We’ve celebrated a quarter of a century’s worth of birthdays together. We’ve shared many experiences, from landing in strange venues in Mexico to retreating to magical water spas in Palm Springs (or anywhere, really), to just being able to pick up the phone after not talking for a period and get right down to what’s really happening without having to dance through the surface talk.  Quite frankly, I hate the surface talk. I know it’s part of our culture that we need to dance that dance, but my heart and soul are nourished by talking about what really matters, not the outfit we’re donning to impress the rest of the world. (Netters: Not so subliminal message…TIME TO HIT A SPA…)

And, perfect timing. After I typed that paragraph, I went to open some mail and lo and behold, there was a card from Netters outlining all our adventures over the past 25 years. That’s the other thing about great friends–they tap in. They’re like a psychic hotline. They help you fill in the gaps. In this case, she remembered so many more places that we’ve been (probably because she does Sudoku and her brain’s better!) including when we grabbed my five-year old, drove North, and turned a riot escape into a vacation during the LA Riots. (Long live Solvang!)

She calls me her “out of the box” friend because I help her test the box boundaries. She’s my “grounding friend” who I know I can count on and that I would trust with my life.

I’m studying Ralph Waldo Emerson right now. He hated quotes, but imho, he shouldn’t have wrote so many poignant thoughts about friends if he didn’t want to be quoted. He writes, “It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.” 

I would add to that that when you are stupid, somehow true friends turn that into a positive thing. I love that. They’re so not judgy.

Having these type of friendships not only makes my life better (awesome even because I love being stupid), it pure and simple makes my life. When I see homeless people on the street, my first thought for them is, “Give them a friend. Even if they’re hungry, just bring them a friend.”

While I cherish my long time friends, and give thought, energy, and time into nurturing those relationships lest they just be “friends” in title and not Truth, I also love watching the Universe bring me new friends. My youngest son captured the enthusiasm well last week when he came home and said, “I made a new friend today.” He’s a teen so he never gets too emotional about anything, but I could hear his soul sing. Friends are food for our souls.

I had just felt that feeling, too, last week. On Wednesday, I was at the gym and had just finished a great workout that left me dripping sweat. (Love that!) I showered and was getting ready in front of the mirror next to a woman I had never seen. She had beautiful long curly hair. She was putting on her make-up and I realized she did hair first then make up. I do the opposite. Then I started thinking about all my best girlfriends and wondered which order they did. Some I know, but some I’ve never gotten ready with. (This is what I think about while I’m getting ready.) Next, I wondered about her products. What did she use? Did she need eye cream yet? Did her mascara drip like every kind I try does?

I sensed her looking at me and she said, “I’m always curious about the products people use and how they use them.”

There it is. Psychic connection. Quite possibly a potential new friend. I feel my soul smile. We start talking. I explain this weird volumizing powder my hair person gave me that gives me really poofy hair and she wants to see it…then try it…then pretty soon we’re playing “hair poof” in the mirror. (The stupid part.) New friend potential? Somehow I think our paths will cross again.

My oldest is more direct. He finds people he likes, walks up to them and says, “You want to be friends?” He’s 26. They always say yes (obviously, because he’s awesome and a GREAT friend.)

Friends are the flowers of life. If we are to keep the old ones, we can’t just rely on glory days. We must continue to make new memories and grow together, becoming more beautiful as we unfold with each season. If we are to make new ones, we must remain open and available for them to enter our worlds. And when we do, our lives become more fully blossomed than they could ever be otherwise.

To all my flowers–past, present, and future–I love you. You truly take my breath away.